So Sleepy

Okay, this new blogging addiction has to taper off soon, because I'm getting too little sleep! Last night I looked down and it was twelve-thirty in the morning. My kids get up way to early for me to keep these sort of hours.

So, I was lurking-- I admit it. For those of you new to the blogging culture, like me, lurking is surfing around on people's blogs, particularly people you don't know, without leaving any comments. Essentially, they'll know you were there by their counter, but they don't know who you are. Anyway, I was lurking through blogs last night and went from a friend's through her friends list then on to someone else's so I was three or four blogs away from anyone that I knew in person, and guess what? On this person's list was "The Hebdon Family", so I clicked the link, and was like, "Hey, I know those kids!" It was Nathan's cousin. I added them to my blog list, so I have someone else to visit now. It's like a secret society of LDS women, these blogs. Although, most of them are more uplifting than me. They're all about celebrating the triumphs of motherhood, and I'm all about poking fun at the trials. I suppose that's just my personality, though.

Just a little update on the writer's block. I'm moving through it. I wrote twelve pages so far, which is hardly anything, but it's a move in the right direction. If I stopped writing this blog and opened the file, I could probably write twelve more, but due to last night's lurking, I'm so exhausted. I think I may just go to bed early!

The Quote That Keeps Me Going

Now repeat this with me, "There is no one perfect way to be a good mother..... What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply..." (Elder M. Russell Ballard, April 2008).

When it comes to comparing, I generally want to cower in the corner and cry. Of course, it doesn't help when my kids say to me, "Kathy doesn't yell at her kids." And, Christ-like mother that I am, I reply, "Well, maybe Kathy's kids are obedient!" (By the way, I told my friend Kathy this, and she just rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, brother! Stick around awhile longer.")

I'm pretty sure I'm last in line for the mother of the year award, and tonight I dropped yet another notch. I was sitting here after the all-asleep hush fell on the house and realized, I didn't make dinner tonight. Now before you go call Child Protective Services, I have to say that we had a very late lunch after church, and when Josie woke from her nap I fed the others snacks with her: sandwiches, fruit and cheese sticks. They were all running around until nearly dark and no one said they were hungry. Still, I was startled that I hadn't actually sat them all down for a meal. I'll repent in the morning and make a great frittata.

Josie was in the middle of a bath when my timer rang to go and move the sprinkler. (I have to set a timer or I'll forget about the sprinkler and flood the basement.) So, I said to Ethan, "Come sit with Josie and make sure she doesn't drowned while I go move the sprinkler." I was gone, like, forty-five seconds, and when I come back in the house Ethan meets me at the door. "Mom! Josie pooped in the tub!" Do you think she was just waiting for me to leave the room so she could do her business? So, I pulled her out of the tub, scrubbed it with antibacterial cleaner, filled it back up and set her in so I could scrub her, too. Her toys are still sitting downstairs waiting to be sterilized. I just couldn't deal with them tonight. Her latest development is picking up food at meals, dropping it over the side of her chair and then smiling and saying, "Ah-oooo." She knows she's adorable.

Dylan nearly put a hole in the wall this afternoon. He was just being a typical boy, one hand on the back of the recliner and one hand on the table, lifting himself off the floor, when he lost his balance and rocked backward. His foot hit the wall with a loud CRACK. Across the floor flies white plastic that was an outlet cover, a mere dollar to replace, but I said, "Do you know how much trouble you'd be in if you had put a hole in the sheet rock?" (Like Mazie's head did at Esther's house-- I still can't believe she lets us visit after that one.) While Ethan and Mazie examined the broken outlet cover, I slipped downstairs where I knew we had an extra one (remodelling leftovers). I came back with it and a screwdriver, handed them both to Dylan and said, "You broke it, now fix it." Without a word of protest, and great relief that it wasn't worse, he replaced the cover.

Yesterday, my kids were so nice and cleaned out the dishwasher while I was in the shower. BUT the dishes in the dishwasher were dirty, and I was planning to start it after I got out of the shower. I couldn't remember what was in there, so I basically rewashed anything that had been used in the past three days.

I'm including these daily trials for all you moms out there. We all have them. Sometimes it helps to share. :) Most days I wonder if I can merely survive motherhood, much less do it well.

Summer Snow

June is sort of magical here. It isn't too hot yet, and it's the month of Summer Snow. In addition to Subalpine Fur, our town is dominated by Cottonwood trees. I didn't know why they were called that until I moved here. The whole month of June, little tufts of white float in the wind. It catches the sunlight and looks like snow that doesn't melt. The side of the street is lined white with it.
When it's below zero in the winter, I have to remind myself that these beautiful days will return, and I love them even more for having survived the bitter cold.

Recovering from Vacation

I've decided that vacations are overrated. It takes a week to get all the laundry washed and packed, the food organized, and make sure that you actually make it to your destination with a toothbrush for everyone and your own contact case. You have a wonderful time, but when you get home, it takes another week to recover, because every person has a week's worth of dirty clothes, the tent needs to be cleaned, the lawn is half dead and all the kids are crabby from traveling. What's even more crazy is that in three weeks, we're going to do it all again!!!

On a more positive note, my kids start swimming lessons on Monday. This is the highlight of every summer for them. Usually they do two sessions (totalling four weeks), but this year we're only doing one because of schedule conflicts. Still, I'm thrilled because as much as it's a pain to spend two hours a day in the baking sun at the city pool, it's still two hours a day that the kids are out of the house (i.e. not fighting), doing something active that isn't supervised specifically by me! Hooray! And, they're all pretty good in the water thanks to three summers of this. Actually, when we talk about moving, this is one of the things I'll miss most about this town-- the pool and summer lessons. Dylan is only eight, and he's already passed level five. Level six is life-guard training, so he's repeating level five this summer. Ethan (age 6) is in level four, which is all in the deep end of the pool. And Mazie should be swimming on her own by the end of the summer, and she still has a full year before she can go to kindergarten. Can you tell I love the lifeguards here? I do. I love them all!

Well, all the Rowdies are creeping out of the woodwork tonight because-- yee haw-- the rodeo is in town. I think we're the only people in the county who don't attend. There's a parade tomorrow, and we'll go to that instead. Then I'll check it off as having fulfilled my "good mommy" duty for the day. The worst thing about the parade is how much candy they kids get. No joke, it's like Halloween all over again, and I already hate Halloween. I do not want to be the candy patrol and have to listen to everyone whine and beg until the bowl is empty. Plus, I'm still trying to lose the weight from baby #4, so I definitely don't need a bowl of candy lying around.

Happy Birthday, Little Josie!

Josie turned one while we were in Washington. We celebrated at Grandma's house with cupcakes. Everyone was singing "Happy Birthday." I love the expression on her face. I had to get a close up because it was so funny.Devouring a cupcake. I don't think she ate any of it. She was grinding it up in her little fists and then dropping it over the side of her chair. Naughty little thing.
Josie opening gifts from my mom and sister. Nathan was mad that I didn't get her anything on her actual birthday, but hey, she's one and she doesn't really care that we bought them the next day on the way home. She loved Grandma's baby piano so much we bought her one. Nathan also picked out a V-Tech helicopter, which Josie was playing with in the car. Instead of sounding like a helicopter, it sounded like a machine gun. Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat. That's what I listened to for about an hour driving down the highway. The rest of the kids were having a grand time playing the piano in the car!

Double cousins

My sister and I are married to brothers. These little ones are double cousins, although you'd never guess from the photos. You'd think they'd look more alike. We won't begrudge Benjamin his Coug attire, since I went there, even though I didn't graduate from WSU.

Josie says, "My bottle tastes better than yours." (Because yours has prune juice in it. Yuck!)

The Ol' Family Reunion

We just returned from a week in Washington and my husband's family reunion. It was held at his parents' home, which we all affectionately call "The Homestead." The photos are enough to make me homesick, and I was just there. I love the fields and the circles in the background, the moutains in the distance. We had a wonderful time being home and seeing everyone.

The ever-popular slip & slide.
Ethan "brands" a steer while blindfolded. Kim helped him hit the box.

Mazie and her new friend Layken (Shannon's boy).

There's a reason his parents call this boy "Mud Dog." This is Joshua playing in the puddle. Every time Kristin cleaned him up, he went right back to the puddle.

The Saturday morning devotional.
The brothers, minus two. JoJo with her daddy.
The deflated innertube hung over the trampoline was everyone's favorite toy. Mazie's going glam with the purple glasses and winning smile.

Hannah plays in the flower bed.

Ethan climbing the black walnut tree.

The Saga of the Sparkly Shoes

It has taken me a month to be able to write this and think it's funny, but here goes:

One Monday in May I went to town for a dentist appointment. It was so liberating to drive a full hour alone in the car without anyone whining, "MOM!" It was even worth getting a Novocaine shot in the mouth. Anyway, I had extra time, so I decided to go shopping. It was right before my birthday, so I bought a few summer clothes. I couldn't even remember the last time I went to the mall and tried things on. Who can handle a mall with four kids?

Anyway, I was in a pretty good mood when I hit my last stop, which was Target. They had these cute sparkly flip-flops, so I bought a pair for Mazie. I knew she would love them, and she did. As soon as I took them out of the bag, she wanted to wear them. I was happy to see how excited she was over these cute shoes. She wore them non-stop for three days. The third day was my birthday, a complete bummer because Nathan left that morning for work (in another state). I was so depressed, I didn't even want to get out of bed.

About four o'clock that afternoon, I brought Mazie in from playing with her friend, and Mazie was barefoot. I asked where her sparkly shoes were, and she said she didn't know. I made her go back out and find her shoes. Later she came home and said she couldn't find them. I told her to go back out again and look. She went all up and down our street, but couldn't find her shoes. I went with her to look. I searched the yard, the sidewalks, our neighbor's yard. No sparkly shoes. I had her ask her friend, but they hadn't seen them. I was SO incredibly angry.

I realize this seems like a petty thing to be angry about. It's not like I couldn't afford to buy another pair. I don't have to choose between buying my kids shoes or food, but it was the whole point of the thing. I bought her new shoes, and she lost them in THREE DAYS!!! Plus, it's not like I can just go get another pair. We live an hour from the nearest Target. And, it was my birthday, my husband was gone, and I was already depressed.


I'd bought Mazie a new pair of Sunday dress shoes, which she desperately needed. Her other pair looked terrible, but I packed the new Sunday shoes in the box and told Mazie she couldn't have them until she found the sparkly shoes. She wailed, of course, but I was determined that she would find them.


For a week she searched for her shoes. In the meantime, she's wearing this grungy pair of flip-flops that I bought at the dollar store awhile back, and they are so dirty, you can barely tell they were originally purple. She went to all of our neighbors, crying and asking if they had seen her shoes. We live between two widows, and Mazie got loads of sympathy, but no shoes.


Nathan finished his seven-day shift and came home, which helped the rational Mommy return. Finally, I relented. I'd been praying that Mazie would find her shoes. I decided I had it all wrong. I just needed to forgive her for losing them and move on. So, I prayed to be forgiving and to help her learn from this. A few days later, Nathan needed to go to town, so we packed up the girls. (The boys were still in school.) Right before we left, Mazie said, "I think my sparkly shoes are in Paige's sandbox." I couldn't believe it. I called Paige's mom at work and asked if we could go look in their yard. She said it was no problem, so Mazie and I headed to the neighbor's house in the pouring rain. Nathan was irritated, because he was waiting to leave and we were tromping through the mud looking for shoes. Somehow, I knew that if I went to town and bought another pair, she'd find them immediately. Well, we looked in the sandbox, and there were no sparkly shoes. Oh, well. We got in the car and went to town. On the way, I talked to Mazie about losing her shoes. I said, "I hope you've learned from this. You can't take your shoes off and leave them." She insisted that she would not lose them again.

We ran our errands, and Mazie was really good. Our last stop was Target, and lo and behold, the sparkly flip-flops were on sale! They were four bucks cheaper than I'd paid the first time. Mazie was with me, so instead of getting the clear ones with silver sparkles, she had to have the pink ones. Even as we were checking out, Mazie said to me, "I won't lose these!"

We went home, got the boys and unloaded the car. I stood in the kitchen and said to Nathan, "This is what I hate about shopping. You come home exhausted, the kids are cranky, and you still have to put all this stuff away, plus finish the morning dishes that didn't get washed." He said, "I'll do the dishes and put away groceries if you'll take the kids upstairs and make them clean their rooms."

That second option didn't seem any more fun, but I agreed. I told the boys they couldn't play the Wii until their room was clean. That was easy. They started cleaning like crazy. Mazie was another story. I sat on her bed and had to point to every article of clothing, piece of paper and toy. "Pick that up. Put that in the dresser," on and on. We finished. She was eager to please because she'd just gotten new shoes. We cleaned the closet, under the bed, the entire floor. Everything was spotless. Finally, I noticed there were two blocks under Josie's crib, so I had Mazie crawl under the crib to get them. She crawls under, grabs the blocks and squeals, "My sparkly shoes!"

I said, "No way!" The entire room was clean. There was no way her old sparkly shoes were under there. Sure enough, she crawls behind the toy box and came back with the first pair of sparkly shoes. She'd hidden them between her toy box and jewelry box and forgotten they were there. It was Murphy's Law, I suppose. The very day I bought a new pair, she found the first. At least they are different colors.

I've been surfing around looking for more people that I know with blogs, and getting inspired about what to include in my own. And then there are the really fantastic ones that just plain intimidate me. Don't ever expect my blog to look THAT good. My scrapbooks don't even look that good. I keep following link to link to link and reading people's blogs. Dylan's like, "Who are they?" and I answered, "I have no idea, but look how cute their kids are!" He especially liked the blogthings quizzes that we took the other night. He found out that as far as breakfast cereal goes, he's Cheerios, which I probably could have pegged without taking the test. He's an eternal optimist who tries really hard to do the right thing. I was a yellow crayon (flashbacks of the Color Code of Personality test) and clearly NOT cut out to be a vampire, which is probably a good thing, since I'm really not in love with Edward. I'm assuming everyone knows which Edward I'm talking about. Speaking of which, I was in Costco the other day waiting for a prescription, and I saw a mom walk by with this goth haircut, a toddler in the cart and an "Official I love Alice Cullen" T-shirt on. I thought, "Hey, at least I'm not the only mom whose stuck in YA lit for life!" Esther, I know you sympathize.

Well, I have one more day to clean and pack. Today I mowed the lawn and made cupcakes for my "something sweet" contribution to the food. For "something salty" I'm getting really creative and buying chips. :)

My real estate agent called today. She's doing an open house while we're gone, which is wonderful, since we won't be here to mess up the house once it's clean. It does, however, mean that in addition to packing for six, I have to leave the place spotless, and you all know that isn't my strong suit. We've been maintaining it pretty well this week, so we'll see how we do tomorrow.

I did promise the kids another trip to the pool this week. Ethan is determined to pass his deep-end test. They have to tread water for thirty seconds and swim the width of the pool and back. He passed at the end of last summer, but he tried to take the test on Saturday and didn't pass. I asked, "How'd you do?" and Ethan answered, "I drowned." He got halfway across and let his feet sink and went under. Dylan pulled him to shallow water. I'm sure he'll pass tomorrow.

In Love With Summer

Who wouldn't love summer days like these? It was in the high seventies with a gentle breeze, and the kids were playing outside on the trampoline and taking turns running through the sprinkler. I decided to capture the moment and got some great pictures of the four of them. I also learned how to hook my new camera up to my laptop, so I don't have to use the slower computer to upload photos. Horray!

Thank you

I want to say thanks to everyone who's been visiting my blog. I love loading the page and seeing the little counter say a number higher than the last time. (I did block my own IP, so I don't inflate my numbers everytime I add a post.) So those numbers are actual visiters, and I'm so happy to see you! I've been surfing around looking for other people I know with blogs, and it is so fun to read about their lives. Kristin's last entry on her blog was so inspiring with the complete summary of her spring-- photos included. I'm going to have to post more photos, but maybe I'll wait until we get back from Washington, so I'll have pictures with cousins in them.

Josie is starting to say a few things now. She's said, "Dada" and "Daddy" for awhile, but only recently added, "Mama" and "pretty" to her vocabulary. She used to call Dylan "Dada" so I started saying "brother" to her instead. Now she calls him "Butter!" It's very cute.

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. I wish I could have spent it with the father of my children, but he had to work. I told him it was probably a good thing. Instead of giving out chocolate bars at church, they gave out banana bread. What were they thinking? Nathan told the kids they could eat the banana bread, and we'll load him up with chocolate when he gets home. The kids are counting the days until we go to the family reunion. Ethan was trying to pack today, but I wouldn't let him.

A funny thing happened when I was out watering the yard. A jeep with Oregon plates drove by, slowed down at the sight of the For Sale sign, then turned around up the street and came back by. Their windows were down and I could hear the woman say to the man, "That's actually a pretty nice house." I wanted to shout, "Come back and buy it!!!" but I didn't. It IS a nice house, and I hope someone falls in love with it soon.

Took the kids out for a very long walk to day and tried to burn some energy off them. We all took turns pushing Josie in the stroller. She loves to be outside. It reminds me so much of Ethan. They'll be my outdoorsy kids. We put a blanket in the yard and Josie sat out there with the boys for about and hour. She doesn't even try to crawl away. She's just content to be outside. She ate grass and made a mess out of her snacks, then screamed when I brought her back into the house.

I had a glimpse of hope this evening. For quiet time, the kids sat and colored for about half an hour without fighting. It was a small miracle--one that I desperately needed.

Congratulations!

Today, there is big news in the family. Congratulations to Stephen and Jen on their second baby boy, Preston Alan. Glad to hear that mom and baby are doing well, and possibly still planning to come to the reunion, which is insane, but I can't wait to see you guys!

Also, today is Veral & Michael Jeane's forty-second anniversary. Hope you take some time out for each other today, and I'm glad we still have eight years to plan a fiftieth anniversary bash, because in this family, it just might take that long! On the anniversary note, Nathan and I spent ours on second story scaffolding trying to paint trim in the howling wind. It was very romantic.

I love reading the comments you guys leave on my blog, so keep it up. Kristin, I'm going to rewrite that first novel someday, because it is one of my favorites, but I'm still going to kill Seth, so you'll just have to forgive me and move on. (He really isn't Paul.) And, you may have forgotten that the hero of the story was named Joshua, which is funny now that you have a little Joshy of your own.

Today is the first day of SUMMER!! Okay, it's not really, but it finally feels like it. The kids have been out of school since the twenty-seventh of May, but the weather was cold and windy. Today, finally, we woke to clear skies, warm temperatures and a mild breeze instead of a tornado. The kids said, "Let's go to the pool!" I'm looking for a good excuse, but not finding one. I think I'm actually going to have to break out the swimming suit and sunblock today.

Addicted

Okay, I can see now how this blogging thing gets addicting. I've checked back about a hundred times today to see if there were any comments on my blog. (I know, that's pathetic, but it is true.)

I thought I was going to get a decent night's sleep tonight, but as soon as I started to nod off, Josie woke up crying. I did finally get her back to sleep, but now I'm awake and I'm typing on my blog instead of going back to sleep. I was NOT going to let her sleep with me again. Last night, I gave in to her mournful cries and this morning I had a killer headache from sleeping with her little head and her little feet on my back all night. Over the course of the day I downed four Excedrin, two Motrin and about thirty-two ounces of Pepsi, but it didn't even touch the headache. Yeah, I know, another reason why I'm not sleepy right now.

I keep beating my head against the keyboard (figuratively speaking) because I'm suffering a bout of writer's block that I'm having trouble kicking. The thing that is so frustrating is that I know exactly what I want to write, I just don't have the right words. The real problem is that it's the start of a new story and I don't like to start badly, so I haven't been able to start at all. I KNOW that it's just the first draft and a first draft is always bad, but I don't like it. Anyway, I once went to a writer's conference and in a panel discussion someone asked a published author what she did about writer's block. She said, "Writer's block is a crock!" She went on to explain that it is just your mind's way of saying you are uncomfortable with whatever you have to write. Her solution: write through it.

Esther sent my novel back. It's very cute with all Aimee's edits in it. She caught a lot of mistakes, which surprised me. I thought it was a pretty clean manuscript, but it just goes to show you that you can't fully edit your own stuff. Your brain tells you it says what you think it says, even if it really doesn't. I keep looking at the thing and wondering what I should do with it. I mean, I know what I'm supposed to do with it: query and wait for rejection letters that come in piles, but I can't face it yet. So, I set the thing on the bookshelf, and I keep walking by it thinking about scenes in it and wondering if someday an agent will want to read it. For now, I'm still wondering and trying to get going on another book.

I realize to someone who isn't a writing junkie, this probably sounds insane, especially when you consider that I already have five manuscripts on the shelf. But, I enjoy the challenge of a new story, and I already love these characters who are kicking around in my head. Someday I'm going to HAVE to sell a book and justify all the time I spend writing, but for now, my kids are young and I am writing to keep my sanity. It's like reading a good book, only backward. It's the same process and the same escape, but you're sending it out instead of taking it in-- if that makes any sense at all.

Facelift

Good-bye, Mint Green! Hello, Butte Rock!


I'm so proud of this paint job. I just had to post photos, before during and after. Many, many, many thanks to my husband for his tireless work in getting the job done. (He had to do all the high stuff.)

Brand New

Okay, I admit I've been reluctant to join the blogging craze. I wasn't sure if I had anything to say that was so wonderful, it should be, well, public. But, here I am, sliding into the cyberabyss throwing my thoughts into the world. Let's hope I don't regret it later.