Coming out of Hiding

There is something to be said about keeping family trials private. My husband is particularly sensitive to this-- whether it's me or the kids or whatever, we generally choose to face our trials quietly. Still, it seems that EVERYONE in the world already knows, so what difference does it make if I comment about our current predicament on my blog? We went to church and the ENTIRE branch knew. At school, all the other parents know. I've gottenfacebook messages from Nathan's cousins in other states who have already heard the news. Our days of hiding were few. So, here goes.... Nathan lost his job.

He showed up at work last Friday, and they said he was laid off-- no severance, no notice, just "thanks for wasting two years of your life with us, and see you later." This is part of the reason why our house has been on the market for nearly a year. We were trying to prepare for a day like this, so if he lost his job, we could go wherever he found another one. Well, to date, we still have no offers on the house. Every job he's applied for is far away. His old employer (which was our fall back plan) is struggling and also laying people off, so there's no chance of getting back on with them. All of this happened on the twelfth. Thirteen days before Christmas.

Two weeks ago I had a dream. I woke in the middle of the night and Nathan was home. Josie was crying, and he went in to see her. I said, "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at work." He replied, "I got laid off." In my dream I feel back to sleep and woke again. He was still there beside me, so I knew it wasn't a dream. The next morning before opening my eyes, I felt Nathan's side of the bed to make sure it was empty, and it was. My relief wasindescribable.

We'd heard through the grape vine that the company was planning more lay-offs. For about a week we worried ourselves sick. The day before Nathan got his notice, we were both nearly ill with the stress of it. On Friday when he found out, I cried all morning. I'd been fasting that he would be able to keep his job and if he didn't that we'd get enough severance to get by until he found another one. We received neither of those things. What I received was peace. I got on my knees and told my Heavenly Father how afraid I was, and asked Him to help me face this trial with grace.

By the time Nathan got home from the job site, my tears were dry, and I knew we would be okay. Financially, who knows? We may lose everything, but there are somethings we cannot lose. No one can take away the covenants we've made to each other and our Heavenly Father. No one can take away our education. I'm still a teacher and he's still an electrician, and even if we had to start over with nothing, we'd be better off than where we were when we first got married, because now we have employable skills. While Montana and Washington would not issue me a certificate without additional training, the state of Wyoming would, and I'd make nearly double there anyway. So, I told Nathan that if he has to take a lower-paying job, he should do it in Wyoming. (His sister has already enthusiastically volunteered to have Josie if I need to get a job. Can you tell her youngest is growing up too fast?)

Overall we've been pleased with the job postings we've seen. Nathan has applied for some great jobs, but the waiting is killing us. Especially at this time of year, employers are slow to close postings and slow to move on the interview process. One job he applied for closes today. It's the first. Some others don't even close until the end of the year.

On Sunday, I was teary all through Sacrament meeting. I wonder if the branch presidency was inspired to choose the speakers and topics for us. Traci spoke on adversity. I remember one part of her talk very clearly. The gist of it was this: if we are really in tune with the Lord and trust him completely, we would be grateful for our trials because it is an opportunity for the Lord to bless us.

The first day that Nathan was home, our phone rang off the hook, mostly calls from guys he worked with who were sorry to see him go and eager to help him find another job. People have been very kind. Of course, no one can fix this for us, but we have been supported by our friends and family. For that I'm very grateful. I think trials give people a chance to love you and to show it as they normally would not.

We debated whether or not we should still travel home to Washington for Christmas. However, I don't think we could stand to stay cooped up in the house for the entire winter break-- and I do mean cooped up. Forget playing outside in the snow, because it's been below zero nearly everyday for a week. If there is one blessing in this, it's that we can come home sooner. Here is another blessing: Nathan will be here for Christmas. He was scheduled to work Christmas day.

And, I have to throw this in just because you'll all laugh. I've had a sinus infection for weeks, and it's finally healing. Add to that stress, fasting and more stress. I've lost eight pounds. I told my sister, and she replied, "I want a sinus infection!" She's never had one, and I assured her that, no she doesn't. Still, it's one less thing bringing me down. I may be broke, but I look better in my jeans than I did two weeks ago!

Maybe Later

Sorry, I'm too distressed to blog now. Give me a week or so, and maybe I'll climb back onto the blogging wagon. I'll start blogging when I have something positive to say. Please let that be soon.

What a Relief

I spent the day taking inventory of all the neglect I've done to my house in the consuming stress of the branch Christmas dinner. Thankfully, it is now over. It was very well attended, and we welcomed several less active families and visitors into our building. I'm very pleased with the turn-out. We had way too much food. I guess now we'll know better what to buy a lot of and what to buy less of. I was happy that we had plenty, and everyone could have seconds if they wanted and they could all leave full.

And, the left-overs will not be wasted because there is a funeral scheduled for Saturday, and the Relief Society was going to have to provide the meal. I was happy to help them out with everything that we bought that we couldn't use.

Now I can turn my focus back to my family and putting my house back together. Yikes. It's amazing what two days of neglect can do.

A Minor Irritation

Can you believe our Costco did not have bagged salad today? I think I've bought bagged salad there more than a dozen times, but the day that I need salad for a hundred people, they are suddenly OUT? Arrrrgh! I'm so glad I wasn't shopping alone. I stood there in awe, then looked at Michelle (the other Michelle) and said, "What do we do?"

I love that Michelle is always so level-headed. She doesn't panic like me. We just bought a lot of Romain and we're going to shred carrots into it for a very simple salad.

STILL. No bagged salad-- at Costco! I couldn't believe it. I should have gone to the other town, because I was just there last week, and they had bagged salad.

Today, I've been a little restless because it's too early to start cooking, but I'm worried that I won't get everything done tomorrow. I may have trouble sleeping tonight. I actually called my mom so I could lay out the time schedule for when everything had to be in the ovens. (My mom is an expert at large-function meals. She learned the art from the pro of all pros-- Phyllis Mason. I love Phyllis and her cooking.)

So, the potatoes are washed and ready to be baked. The salad fixings are at the church in the fridge, ready to be chopped, and Michelle has the roasters to do the meat. We have this all under control. The only thing not under control is my worry. Nathan thinks I'm a little crazy right now--"It's only food," he said. "You just have to cook it." He's such a man. That's why he's so good for me. He puts things into perspective.

Quick Update

It's late, and I should be going to bed. Tomorrow I have to go to town and buy the food for our Branch Christmas dinner. Last year they had about 40 people attend. Tonight I called around and got RSVPs from seventy-five with another twenty in the "maybe" category. I should also note that our branch has shrunk in size lately, so this is very good news. However, I'm stressed since I've never cooked for a hundred people before, but interestingly enough, I've always had it in my head that we should plan for a hundred.

So, I will blog on Thursday to let you know how the dinner goes, but I wanted to tell you all that the rash is fading. I'm looking less like a red and white Dalmatian. It is gone from my neck and face. I think I was blessed for going to church and bearing my testimony, because I left wearing a turtleneck with the rash all the way up my cheeks, and when I got home, it had faded down to my chest. My torso is considerably better. It was the most inflamed. My legs still have the rash pretty badly, but it's snowing, so no one is seeing my legs anyway. Last night I was able to fall asleep without scratching. The night before I was up until one simply because every time I laid down, I started itching so badly that I couldn't stand it. I have one more day on the medication. If the rash isn't gone, I'll have to call the doctor for a refill, so I'm really hoping that it will all clear up by tomorrow night.

Valine, about the "Spencer remedies"-- I had strep throat last year three times, and one nurse who saw me told me that one of the best natural remedies for strep was "mother" vinegar. I drank nearly an entire bottle over the course of the week, and still nothing cleared it. Nathan has had a chest cough for weeks, and he's started the vinegar method. It's working for him. I think homeopathic remedies work for some people and not for others. I'm one that they never seem to work on. This is the first antibiotic that I've ever had a reaction to, and when I lived in Mattawa I had a sinus infection that had to be treated with two consecutive courses of antibiotics because it was so bad that the normal stuff wouldn't work, so they had to break out the really powerful prescription. Mostly I think the doctor who gave me this was a moron, because the second doctor I saw said this reaction is common to that particular drug. Now I'll know to tell them I'm not taking that kind of drug EVER again.

Amy C- If you're reading, here's your answer about us living "out" of town. Actually, we don't live out of town. I live on one of the busiest streets in my little town. (About fifty cars pass my house everyday-- all going to the high school.) :) But our town is about 1100 strong, with one grocery store and one very small drug store. You can go to the doctor, fill a prescription and buy milk around here, but if I want to go to Costco and Target (my two essential stores) I have to drive either 50 miles over the mountains in one direction or 80 miles in the other direction. We shop both places depending on the weather, etc. We go to the dentist, the plastic surgeon, my OB, and any other specialist in the 80-mile town. Josie was born there, and there's a temple there, too. Generally speaking, I drive to the 50 mile town because Costco and Target are on the same exit right next to the highway. And, that's where I'm going tomorrow, even though it snowed today. (The freeway should be clear by morning.)

Miserable Me

This weekend I've been miserable. I went to the doctor last Saturday because my cold had morphed into a sinus infection. Yesterday, day seven of the antibiotics, I started breaking out in a rash. I wondered if it was something I ate. Did my body suddenly decide it was allergic to nuts or something? This rash thing has never happened to me before. I took two Benadryl and went to bed, expecting to wake in the morning completely fine.

I woke this morning to find that the rash had spread over my entire body, down to my toes, my fingers, all over my torso, and all the way up to my hair. Even my ears itched. I went to the clinic as soon as they opened. I didn't even call and tell them I was coming. Nine o'clock rolled around and I was in the door. I saw a different doctor this time. This one is the one who stitched Ethan in the ER, and I really like him. He took one look at me and said it was the antibiotic. While he wrote out a prescription for me he asked how Ethan's lip looks. I was so happy to tell him that it looks great and thank him for how he helped us in the ER. I think he was concerned that we might be sorry we didn't take Ethan to a surgeon the first night, but I told him I thought what we did was for the best. The surgeon preferred seeing Ethan two days later when a lot of the swelling had gone down.

Anyway, after chatting with the doctor, I went straight to the drug store and filled the prescription. In my mind, I'm thinking it's going to start working right away. I'm going to go home, take the pills and the rash with start to fade. I looked at Calamine lotion, but decided not to spend the extra six bucks. I was going to be healed.

Well, I'm not healed and three hours later, I was so miserable and itchy that Nathan went to the store and came back with Calamine lotion, which helps only moderately. I'm embarrassed to go to church tomorrow, but I didn't go last week because I was so sick. I think I'm going to have to break out a turtleneck. It won't hide the rash on my face-- oh yes, it's there too-- but at least people won't be grossed out looking at my arms and splotchy red neck. I hope I can find a pair of black tights, too, because NO WAY am I wearing nylons. And, don't even think I'm going to post pictures. Just take a photo of me, print it out and cover it with dots from a red marker. That's how I look.

Snowy, Snowy Night

Today I had a marathon day in town. Up at 6:00 A.M., out the door by seven to get two kids to the dentist by 8:30. Afterward, I bought them shakes then headed to Toys R' Us, where I met up with Nathan's sister. We shopped with a total of seven kids in tow (although I don't think her two oldest count as kids anymore-- they're teenagers and great babysitters.) Ethan insisted on riding in her car everywhere we went. Her two-year-old wanted to go to Hobby Lobby, so we went and hit a great 50% off sale.

While we were there I got at text from my husband saying, "How's the trip going? Are you crazy yet?" I wrote back that I was in Hobby Lobby with his sister, to which he promptly replied, "Don't spend all my money!" She and I both got a good laugh out of that.

In the afternoon I took Ethan to his follow-up appointment with the surgeon. The scar looks great, and he's pleased with how it's healing.

All the while, it was snowing in town, but not sticking. It snowed all day and turned to slush on the streets. Finally about three-thirty I headed for home with three tired kids and a very cranky toddler. Halfway home it turned colder, the snow began sticking on the road, and I thought of a joke I'd heard a few years ago. "If you can drive 70 miles an hour through a blizzard, you might be from Wyoming." Ditto for all the mountain states, I think. The roads were good as far as roads go around here in the winter.

We came home to four or five inches of snow on our yard, and it's still snowing. It's beautiful, powdery snow that all the skiers will love. No chance of building a snowman, though. Before bed, I caught Josie standing at the window looking out at the white yard. I thought of what a wonder it must be for her to see the snow. She wouldn't remember last year-- it's all new again.

So, if Thanksgiving and shopping didn't put me in the holiday mood. It's now officially Christmastime. We have the greeting-card snow on our roofs to prove it!