Why Blogging is Better than Facebook

WARNING: If you are easily offended, stop reading now! I'm feeling ornery, and I'm likely to anger you. If you are a HUGE fan of facebook, I'm happy for you, now go away.

I warned you.

I don't want to hear about your hurt feelings.

Here goes:

I realized last night how much I dislike facebook, while I still love blogging. I thought I'd compile a list for you and rant away. I'm so good at ranting. When my life is stinking to new heights as it has recently, bitter sarcasm comes SOOOO easily. I don't know exactly how long this list will be, so I'll just start at one. Facebook, it seems, is high school all over again, with added dollops of vanity for careers and families.

Complaint #1- The loose definition of "friend."
There ought to be degrees to the friends you add on facebook. Yes, it's nice to send a little note to someone you haven't seen since high school, but I'm not sure if I want that same person snooping through all my photos. And admit it, the only reason you added half those friends on facebook was to see who got fat over the years and who still looks good. I keep wondering which of those categories I fit into these days. Most days I feel fat, even though I'm ten pounds lighter than I was last summer. I'm still not the slight 120 lbs I was in high school, so everyone who sees me on facebook can only say, "She doesn't look as good as she used to." But, I digress.

Complaint #2- Bragging about feats of Athleticism: Woohoo! I just ran five miles in less than forty minutes!

I'm so happy that someone is getting their sorry behind in shape. I wish I could get mine moving more. But, excuse me, I'm married to a runner, a very humble one. He runs because he loves it. He's miserable when he can't run. (Cursed knee!) That said, he has never bragged to me about his times, not even in races. Real runners don't need to brag, so I'm pretty sure all those braggers aren't real runners. Funny how no one brags about the days they DON'T run. "WooHOOO! Ten days without exercise. I think I'll go eat another half gallon of Ben & Jerry's!" I'd enjoy that facebook post more.

Complaint #3- Those consumed with their children's athletics: I'm so proud of Perfect Child tonight. He pitched four perfect innings and his team won the regional title!!!

Insert eye roll and a big yawn. Well, since you weren't a great athlete in high school, you can always brag about your kids' accomplishments on facebook, because, gee, we're all SOOOO interested. There are people I'm considering un-friending because I'm tired of hearing about their kids' sports--- especially if I know their rotten kids and that they aren't that great to begin with!

Complaint #4- Career Vanity: So exhausted. Just spent ten hours writing briefs and organizing for court tomorrow. Looking forward to an aggressive trial.

I really glad that people went on to be lawyers and salespeople and such, and don't mind hearing about what people are doing, but when they constantly facebook about work, it gets ridiculous, especially when they used language that is only understood in their particular career, showing the rest of us just how much smarter they are than the rest of the world. Believe it or not, I actually chose to be a stay-at-home mom. And here's some career vocabulary to chew on: patience, discipline, sleep-depravation, thankless, vacationless, unending. Shall I go on?

Complaint #5- Immaturity: Sufferin' a major hangover today. Shouldn't had so many at the pub last night.

Are you serious? I'm thirty-five, and hey, so are you. Haven't you grown out of that stage of life? Wake up people! There are good things in life to be had that you can't find in a pub. I would think you'd be embarrassed that at thirty-five, you're still stupid enough to have a hang-over.

Complaint #6- The Bikini Photo

Yes, you've still got it. You've got kids, and you still wear a bikini, so by golly, show the WHOLE world. Usually, one partner in the marriage looks considerably better in the bikini photo than the other. But, you know, we do see both, so there it is. When Nate and I both look like we belong on the cover of Sport's Illustrated, I might consider posting a beach photo. No, I take that back. I won't! And, don't you wonder how much photo shopping went into some of those before they were posted?

It's like a high school social on facebook. Everyone can put their best foot forward for a few sentences a day, but on a blog, eventually all the facades fade away and you get a real person and an honest life. Sure, people post brag photos of their kids, but it's not all they talk about. There are also life's trials and triumphs. No matter how you dice it, eventually someone's true self comes through their blog, to their admiration or detriment.

So, I'll keep using facebook as an email service. I might post a photo or two, I'll catch up with a few old friends I'd lost track of, but I'll still grumble about the status posts, and if you start seeing my friends list growing smaller, you'll know why.

Told you I was ornery today.