Re-emerging

I doing my best to stay present in the real world, but a fictional one has been occupying most of my mental energy. I've undertaken a major revision of my novel-- maybe not even a revision so much as a complete rewrite of the ending. I've added about eighty pages to the ending and changed some of what was already there. And, I'm still not finished. I start feeling guilty when I spend too much time in my head and not enough time "mentally present" for my family.

To make things worse, Nathan and I are both sick. Actually, being sick has helped me to see a huge blessing that we enjoyed recently. You may remember that in November and early December I had a terrible sinus infection, followed by an allergic reaction to the medication, followed by yet another sinus infection. I ended up going to the doctor four times and filling about five prescriptions. Right around that time Ethan was bitten by the dog, and he went to the doctor four times, had stitches and surgery.

Then in December Nathan lost his job. On December 31, our benefits ended, and of course, we couldn't afford the COBRA. When he found his new job, he wasn't eligible for benefits until he'd been there 30 days, and then they didn't start until the first of the following month. From January 1st to April 1st we didn't have health insurance. In that time, no one in my family got sick-- not even a cold, and no one got hurt. As soon as the benefits kicked in, it seemed like everyone came down with this sinus thing. Nathan is never sick, but he has it, too. It is probably the stress and the fact that he isn't sleeping well that has contributed to his illness, but I think he's doing okay. (He'd have to be dying before he'd go to the doctor anyway.)

It's probably the first time I've gotten sick and been able to see it as a blessing. At least if I have to go to the doctor, I finally have insurance again.

Hope you all have a happy Easter! I've been feeling guilty because I'm starting to loathe all holidays. I enjoy celebrations. I HATE walking into a retail store and being "sold" Easter with all of it's commercial findings. I'm in a state of open rebellion on this one. Yes, the Easter bunny came, and yes, he brought candy, but I down-played it as much as possible. I didn't buy the Paas egg coloring and we colored Easter eggs the old fashioned way with food coloring and vinegar, which turns out just as bright. The Easter bunny didn't bring excessive toys or games. Each child got one thing. In fact, the happiest moment of our Easter preparations was seeing the beautiful dress that Grandma sewed for Mazie. For all you family gals, MJ sewed another pink dress from the wedding pattern because Josie is now big enough to wear Mazie's. They have matching dresses today, and I love it. Nathan told me to make sure I take pictures. I will post them later.

This morning I tried to remind my kids why we really celebrate Easter. I was astonished to find that none of them knew. They have been taught every year, but the things they remember about Easter tend to be the commercial ones. We talked about the Savior and His resurrection. They will receive more reinforcement in a few hours when we go to church. I'm hoping there will come a day in our house when the Easter bunny won't come at all-- when I can buy them each a gift in celebration of the holiday and keep the focus on what it should be. Until then, I'm doing the best I can.